i took the long way round
i didn’t want to go straight home
i was mad at Him you see
for all the sorrow i had known
i wanted Him to suffer
so i beat my breast in rage
and i wanted Him to know
i would not play upon His stage
i took the long way round
explored some dark and bitter caves
i wandered far in lonely places
danced through nights in evil raves
and when mornings came for reckoning
oh how my head did hurt
i told myself the fun i’d had
and levered up off the dirt
oh what a time i’m having
how i shouted toward the sky
i don’t have to do it Your way
mine’s much better, watch me fly
but it turns out wings i had not
only blackened, twice-scorched stumps
that neither fluttered much less flew
they only made for painful bumps
i took the long way round from anger
full of bitterness and pain
but the longer that i took
the harder shame began to rain
and i wanted Him to suffer
up wherever He did float
so to garner my revenge
i finally slit wide my own throat
and my blind eyes busted opened
on that day when i could see
as my blood ran out unfettered
and i fell on bended knee
because before me there He stood
the one i’d run from all these years
the one i’d hated in my grief
and it was His eyes filled with tears
“fine, You win” i gasped at last
a final breath escaped my lips
and the only sound was silence
and the bloody, painful drips
if you’ve never known forgiveness
when you’ve done an awful wrong
if you’ve never tasted mercy
keep on reading this small song
it is first light in the morning
black of night gives way to dawn
it is tasting drops of water
when your hope has been long gone
it is a heavy hand of love
placed on your lonely, broken shoulder
and the freedom of a first full breath
the lifting of a boulder
when He touches all the places
that you stabbed in anger filled
when He opens His own veins
to pay for blood your hands have spilled
it is mercy, plain and simple
hope restored when all was lost
left so thankful and so sober
knowing just how much it cost
yes i took the long way round
i limped a million surplus miles
but if you know my good, kind God
you know the reason for my smiles